cuz it's fuckin true.
i'm weird, dark, and complicated. but isn't that close enough to tall, dark, and handsome?
the bottom line is, i know i'm cream on it's way back to the top. there's no shame in falling on hard times, it's how you rebound that is important.
i'm head hunting, and you're skull is next in line for the chopping block. to climb the ladder of success you gotta step on everyone else all the way to the top.
i KNOW that's true. and it's really up to me to decide if i want to get stepped on, or be the stepper...
it's like how i drive on the freeway. me and some other dude are flying down the 405 at Mach ten, and everyone else is just an obstacle in our way. you gotta blaze your own trail, or suffer the life of the drone sheep people.
those people aren't thinkers. they like people to think for them. they wanna just show up somewhere, turn their brain off while they collect their fees for their tedious tasks, that a monkey can be trained to do.
ya know how i know i'm gonna be rich one day? cuz i'm ruthless, risky, and it's in my blood to be able to stab someone in the back so i can take the opportunity that they would have gotten.
i've had people work under me countless times. i get a cheap thrill out of bossing them around. if you work for me, you fucking WORK. my favorite answer to someone working for me complaining is, "want me to just pay you for the time you've done, and i'll replace you?"
that shuts them up quick like.
everything in life is political. so vote for yourself.
i never really cared though. but i think costa had the hotter chicks. so we won the war in the end.
a lot of people on the news all day said they'd grab their photos if they had to evacuate immediately. my friend came over and asked me what i'd grab if i had like two minutes to get out.
i said i'd take my camera and my CPU. but it's partly because i lost/threw away most of my precious belongings back in april... back then i might have said my photos or my cd collection. but those things are dusted now. i keep telling myself i'm not bitter, and i'm THIS close to believing it.
it's 4:45am, and i'm still awake. this is getting ridiculous. but at least the fires serve as an excuse to be a total hermit. "uhhh.. the smoke in the air like hurts my lungs, dude..."
but i think i'm gonna go and buy a snickers bar from the 7 with pennies seeing as everyone is waiting for the "perfect" chance to paypal my ass. excpet ryan of san diego who appears to work in a GNC, or something...
man i don't even have like fucking ketchup. i remember being a kid, and opening the fridge, and even when there wasn't shit to eat, there was still shit in there... jars of stuff that goes on or with stuff. sauces, i guess.
but like literally, i'm thinking it's time to unplug my fridge. what's the point really?
every once in a while i'll put something in there to get all cold, and chilled out, and shit, like ummm.... a paperclip, or my pillow.
well my point is i'm still begging, i thought maybe you's guys missed it in the last post, and ummm... was hoping i'd re-post the link...
but i'm not gonna trip out and ram it down your throats. but i will grant reasonable requests to donators, such as:
-have me call your girlfriend to tell her she's dumped
-let you tell all your retarded friends that we're total homies
-do your math homework
-kill that one guy you hate
-have sex with your hot 18yr. old daughter
-(or my second personal favorite) do nothing
why fight it any longer. everyone knows i'm starved, and on the job hunt, and barely being able to dodge the creditors who wanna chop off a finger once a week until they get paid...
and if they didn't know, they know now.
but like seriously, i'm in major debt. in way over my head, and i'm doing the best i can... it hasn't been enough though. not yet at least.
just know this was a hard decision to make putting this thing up here. i don't wanna be catagorized or judged because i'm straight up begging for money from strangers.... but fuck it....
even if i only get one dollar out of it, it'll be worth it. but c'mon now... don't be cheap...
damn Tony... i back that.
and on that note, i decided today, or sorta like... RIGHT NOW, that imma change everything in my life i don't like. and i know i have all the answers.
except... i'm not really shy...
or stoned maybe
that's it, i guess, man... *i* need to lay off the pipe. cuz shit, then i'd still have that 25 bucks i spent on a half an eighth tonight. (1.7 grams).
and i could cruise up the street to del taco, or like even fucking 7-11...
i was always glad i did my grocery shopping there, and now with this strike thing, you're doing it too. because like, who wants to cross those picket lines? you know those people are pissed at you and you're like, "shuuuuuuuutup, motherfucker"
well maybe not you man... but you know how i roll...
DUDE, david bowie is on that carson daily show that comes on after conan, and he looks fucking SCARY.
not like micheal jackson scary, so umm... let's settle for creepy. but in a george michael kinda way.
ugh... i'm too hungry to stay on track. i made sure to have cigarettes and pot, and well, maybe i need to prioratize a little better.
a half an hour ago i used a fork to scoop out peanut butter and then dip it in my jar of smuckers jelly, and have a good old breadless PB & J. it's not the same. but it might be my new favorite food.
oh and i wanted to tell you a cubs story i had... check it out:
my dad and whole family, were from chicago, and duh.. are diehard cubs fans. and i was too, through genetics. but i liked the dodgers too cuz fuck man... YOU guys are from chicago. i was born in hollywood.
but then there was this chance for the cubs... they were getting CLOSE,(i have no idea what year it was) so my dad bought me and him tickets to watch them play the san francisco giants, at candle stick park. we had awesome seats too...
and we were wearing our cubs hats, and chearing for them the whole time like we were out our minds. and AND...
the cubbies lost.
ohhhh man that was a long walk back to the rented car. and a long drive back to the airport (we only flew in that day for the game) and umm...
i'm stoned and like when i get bored of something it pains me to continue... especially when i'm stoned.
so later on, dude.
ain't nothing ever gonna go, ain't nothing ever gonna change. unless you use your soul, use your mind, and know your role.
please remove my name from your blog popularity contest. take this however you can. look at me... but don't look at me
computer generated babylon B.C.
superstar deluxe, i'm always animated, cuz my games so tight... i keep it laminated.
it took me 24 years to write this blog post, but i did three fourths of it in the last five minutes.
i be the boy within a man so why try? i feel i exceed the skills needed.
stupid suckers are soooo fucking temporary.
cuz i gotta be righteous i gotta be me, i gotta be conscience, i gotta be free, i gotta be able to counter attack... i gotta be stable, i gotta be black.
hold it real tight, and never let it go, accumalate my thoughts and then let it flow...
then they'd drag me up and down melrose in hollywood with their loser friends, and i didn't mind... because my two older sisters were including me for once. usually they barely ever noticed i existed.
it was fun going to school the next day too. all the other fourth graders were shocked, "anti, dude... why'd you shave your head?"
"cuz FUCK YOU, that's why"
eventually both my sisters got sent to rehab, and the days of being their loyal tag-along had ended. BUT i mastered playing the other rehab people in the hospital timer chess... so it wasn't a total loss...
i hear it's rated "arrrrrrrr"
or this blonde walks into a library and goes to the librarian, "I wanna Cheese Burger, Large Coke, and Fries..."
and the librarian says, "excuse me miss, but you're in a library"
so the blonde says, "oh" and whispers, "i wanna cheeseburger, large coke, and fries..."
tacos, buzzin, bitches, killer waves, and just knowing how rad i got it.
i'm grateful to el torito for this little slice of time...
it wasn't so bad though. they barely noticed us. and plus we didn't even buy anything. except, i made big tanky buy me one of these.
i missed the season finale of the newlyweds.
today i woke up feeling shitty and turned down a job offer to go to ari-fuckin-zona this weekend. and realized WHY i'm so poor now. i used to work like a fucking idiot.
like... i did the sign job, AND i was an appraiser, AND i always did more work than i could handle, AND i was always stressed out and wanted to kill myself. but i pulled it off, all seven damn days of the week. sleep, rest, and relaxation took back seat.
so i guess i need to swallow my pride and go fetch up some part time joke of a job.
all weekend in phoenix people asked me, "hey guy, did you just wake the fuck up?" and i'd have to tell them, "nahhhh dude.... i just always look like this"
so they're all, "where ya from?" so i tell em, "redondo beach, califorrrrrnia"
and then they go, "ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" like it all makes sense. and then follow up with asking if i surf.
i don't. i hate surfers. i can't even tolerate the beach... it's so sandy and fuckin hot.
i wanna be all, "look amigo, i may sound like spicole, and am obviously baked out of my mind, but i ain't no damn salt-water-stupid surfer piece of shit"
but i don't say shit.
people call the wrong number everyday, and i answer the phone all happy and shit, cuz i'm like, "someone wants to talk to MEE!" and then they're all "ooops i got the wrong number and shit" but they don't say and shit, i just threw that in there.
and i found out that while i beat off more than my friends... for my family, i'm on the low side for jack-off-frequency. i mean sheeit... i've never even gone waxin and milkin more than 6 times in one day.
i think the only things guys in my family do more in one day than jerkin the gerkin is blinking, breathing, and their heart beat.
so thank you to all my uncles and cousins for tapping into the TMI files.
i'm out of food again. just a jar of apple sauce to my name. but it's all good, i love apple sauce.
i just got back fromi phoenix today... about 1 in the morning. this dude i know from there always said it didn't suck quite as bad over by the college, in tempe or whatever. and that's where we were this time, and it was less shitty. but only slightly.
anyways, it was nice to get home. right now, i'm waiting for the weed guy to deliver... he said an hour... ugh...
i guess i'll take a shower and dust off that apple sauce. and hope it takes me long enough, so that i don't have to get desperate and scrape the pipes for resin.
i mean that's so lame.
well, i just wanted to say hi. i'll let you go now, seeing as you are prolly busy anyways.
some of these guys got paid like $18.00/hour just for scaning coupons and shit. and like what do they expect?
i get the feeling they think they're irreplacable... like asking, "paper or plastic?" is sooooo difficult to learn.
did they really think they had a real career? talk about your overachievers...
and FUCK... if the store can't afford to pay them what they are already getting... how is going on strike, and thus causing the store to make smaller profits gonna make sense to anyone?! now they can afford to pay even less money, geniuses
poeple are fucking dumb, man.
i got mad at some homeless guy who was beggin for money, because i was betting that he had more money than i did. i watched some slut in a SUV hand his ass a dollar... then i KNEW he had more money than me.
at least i have a pay check. but FUCK columbus and his fucking shit. especially his whore bag of a no-banking-day/holiday, whatever the fuck. i just know is that it means all i have to eat and drink is applesauce, and tap water, till tomorrow.
i just off work from signs in san bernardino. we killed that shit bro... blew it up king size
but like, shit dude... i'm so fucking tired i could hibernate for all of winter. but i have two and a half hours before i gotta be baaaaaaaaaaaaack out there, all shiny and piping hot, and rockin a great smile.
but i won't smile. because i'll be sleeping. i mean... i WON'T be sleeping. and that's why i won't be smiling.
the other thing making me not smile is not having two pennies to rub together. like literally... i used those last two on gas.
just for comedic effect, or at least from the reaction *I* got... i wanna start paying for gas in pennies exclusively. the line behind you gets so long, and people start making "ahem" noises at you..... pffffffffffft like i care... and then guy is all frustrated, and has to callin for back up, and like. i love pissing off everyone sometimes. anger is such a funny thing to me.
who isn't funny when they're mad?
cofidence makes me laugh too. like look at ace ventura... he's basically just confident. and it's so fucking funny.
ok, normally, i'd delete all this, and go to sleep. but because i'm still all wound up from the drive... whatever. time for gin.
i remember fucking renting videos from that total dork... video archives was like the only place you could rent the faces of death series. i think whitey never even returned part 4 before the place shut down. those movies were so fucking fake.
what i spend money on, in order of priority:
pot, cigarettes, booze, rent, food, bills, and gasoline.
i'm SO pissed.
"can you hear me now?" fuck you.
"my phone is about to die..."
"hold on... i'm at the drive thru place-an-order speaker box machine thing"
"i was bored and just wanted to call you"
"i think i have the wrong number, is this premiere video?"
wtf?! fuck you
voice mails in general...
blocked caller ID people...
ear piece using people...
to everyone with a fucking ridiculously annoying sing-songy ring tone
talking like your trying to drown out the sound of a million jack hammers
pre pay people who need to re-up their minutes
when you're in arizona and you let some person use your phone, and cuz it's all hot and stuff, they hand it back sweaty and gross.
"your current cingular wireless balance is fifteen hundred dollars"
rip off of tony pierce style linking
in terminator 2 john connor stole money from an ATM machine using a speak and spell, and then plays atari's missle command. it's now become my favoritest game ever.
when people talk about if there'll be a T4... and i think they're retarded. that's like weekend at bernie's part III.
so i just cleared a $750 debt with a $300 fridge.... NICE! but my cell phone bill was over (no lies) $1,500. i think that shit needs a new plan.
or maybe i need to pay the bill more frequent than every annual quarter.
does anyone remember pong being THIS hard? pong sucks. missle command only.
i have work this weekend and have literally four dollars to my name. that won't cut it. i'm fucked fucked fucked....
i need to either borrow gas-money from everyone that owes me a favor... or siphon gas outta some shmoes car.
or another way to put it... lock up your gas caps.
i am thinking about chaging the name of this blog to "the-guy-who-met-circuitry-man's boring blog from hell..."
i also met jack tripper, the guy who played booger in the nerd movies, bud bundy, tony from who's the boss, anna nicole smith, magic johnson, punky brewster, and other people too... i just can't remember.
i saw that dumb show and nothing cool happened at ALLL.
in the picture the stunt is to jump from one car hood to the other car hood, dangling sky high from ropes, and while they spray you with a hose. totall genius.
the next stunt was to be handcuffed in a locked-coffin filled with roaches. and not just roaches... like... BIG ass satan beetles from madagascar. or whatever.
and like, you tell yourself you wouldn't do it...
you wouldn't drink camel semen, eat african cave dwelling spiders, wrestle a lion, do a triple back flip off the golden gate bridge, or even tight rope across niagara falls...
but then you see some total dipshit actually win $50,000... and well...
nahhhh fuck it... i'll just take it easy and go on the wheel of fortune. or like.... hollywood squares.
"i'll take... gine lee nolan to block..."
fuck the congo. fuck everyone but us,
or at least fuck em untill we're all good.
prioritize, digitize, analyze, and recognize.
how ever many billions of dollars for a space shuttle?? AND to do useless shit??? why not take all that money, and pay off my pithy credit limit, and buy me a taco??? i mean seriously. think how many people can have their debt wiped out, and a taco to boot!!
i ain't no mathmatician, but i betcha it's a fuckload.
microscopic, gothic, topic, logic
i say we sell half of florida, san diego, parts of texas, and all of arizona to mexico. or to like..... japan. and use the money to give every american cable television. or at least... the playboy chanel.
the internet makes my ears bleed. k bye.
i mean getting dressed just means wearing clothes. and wearing clothes means having clean clothes. and having clean clothes means washing dirty clothes. and so on and so forth... that's a lot of work man.
why not just say fuck clothes. boxers are all the clothes you need.
now i know what you're thinking... "where on earth, anti, will you put your car keys, cell phone, wallet, cigarettes, lighter, zig zags, palm pilot, and poket watch?"
i got two words for you... ela - stic.
yep that little waist band on a pair of boxers straight up from target can take a lickin' and keep on... umm... elasticing. or whatever.
job interviews could pose as a potential problemo, i mean, who's gonna hire a dude in his chonies?
so obviously you have to get hired by blind people. that's like, duhhhh....
or maybe this can be used as a way to get rid of an anoyying job. like babysitting...
and i totally would, just rock my drawls... but my john thomas would prolly make a cameo, and i'd get popped by the man.
there's always some sorta scam that can be pulled, or shit to steal, or people to harrass. whatever.
this last time in the ameri-suites, i opened the swuite doors, and found that our neighbor was a vacant suite, and the door wasn't shut all the way, so we had TWO rooms instantly. we dead bolted the door to the new room, put a chair wedged up against it, and now it was time to go looting.
towels, pillows, am/fm radio alarm clock, iron and ironing board, ect ect. not to mention a new smoking room, and a solution to the ever popular, "hurry up taking your shit, i need to piss like a race horse"... because two bathrooms are better than one.
the night that pic was taken, we went out to some AZ shithole pick up bar, where i got tanked off shots of 151, and my homies got cock blocked by arizona's most sex starved lames.
arizona still blow goats. but i like hotels.
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