Anti abandons the internet.

first of all. i like you man. what's your real name again? ray, right? that's cool, it reminds me of ghost busters.

i read that post of yours that i linked to... and it sounds like you're bummed out, buddy. jeeze-us-h can i ever relate sometimes. that whole forcing fake happy hoping that your mind will slowly believe it (which it never does)

the thing about being happy is, it's HARD work sometimes. i work at it non stop. like today? i bought myself a chris rock DVD, and watched it all evening, laughing at him dis the white man. or last week i shelled out some $$ to buy dave attell's album on itunes.

i spend forever in my shower doing what i don't want god to watch me doing.

i write "stream of conscence" posts on my blog that i "save as draft" to kill the time, and spill the junk out of my mind.

they say writing things down as you think of them is healthy because it releases the distraction from your mind, and you can focus on things better. you "let go" of the thoughts you put into text.

you're a nice dude, though. i mean, i remember when you would leeave comments on strangers blogs religiously... just because you knew they would be stoked. or how you gave me a link to my pay pal button on your group blog (12 steps the other way) when i was broke and internet-begging. and all my internet friends agree that you're aces all around. so it really is a heart break to know that you aren't as stoked as you could be, or as you want to be.

i wish i could tell you what TO DO, or give you answers that you didn't even ask for... but really all i can say is, that sucks you feel all robotic and and that you HOPE your foot hurts as a distraction from other hurts, ect. it's just shitty, man.

i guess in a perfect world you would be living life as i picture you living life: wearing a black and red adidas jump suit, dark black sunglasses, and break dancing on some cardboard, with a crowd around you bouncing to the beat and chanting, "SIMPO! SIMPO!!!"

hey dude, if you figure outa way to save up some scratch, you should visit LA. you have at least access to sleeping on my sofa, and who knows... i might be able to score you an even doper place to stay.

can i request that you change your banner tho? im not gonna request what i want to the new one to be... surprise me... but im sorta tired of that cinco de mayo leftover. nahmean? not that im mr. banner-tastic. but whatevs.

skateboarding makes me happy too. can you borrow a homie's board and see if you like that?

in the end, it's like i always say... it's shame all the things that icey-hot DOESN'T fix.

taker easy on ole anti, p's out.

posted by John  # 1:24 AM