Anti abandons the internet.

hi. it's me, the loser. checking in, and doing my thing, dawggg. i came home to a clean apartment and a made bed. a true rarity, it honestly made me feel like i was coming home to a motel room...the mood epitomized by the stale stench of ashtrays.

i also have three beers left from the weekend, COLD ones even.

i struggled with "feeling sorry for myself" over the weekend for various reasons. btw, all my reasons were irrational and NOT based in reality. the lesson: life is too short to feel sorry for yourself. GET OVER IT, and start having fun already. RIGHT?! right.

i have $6 to my name.

im not a stupid person, i just do stupid things. can you understand that? it's like, i have sense, and i am smart in many ways... but when it counts, and when you NEED me... i'll be sinking in a quick sand pit of crying about my imaginary misfortunes, and sqauking too loudly for anyone to get a word in edgewise.

its called being too proud for your own britches, and its me to a tee.

it's realizing that being interupted is NOT you being prevented from making your brilliant point of view. being interupted can simply be: you being saved from putting your foot deeper in your mouth. thats how it works for me lately at least.

i guess i just want to say for the record that i do know what is rational, and logical, and that my tripper-ness was based on neither of these things. i wanted someone to go, "awwww, poor johnny..." and welp... being finally able to admit that to myself and now to the world feels like a load of bricks off my back. i'm shamed by my need for attention, it's true.

i dont want anyone's pity anymore, i dont know why i did. that was retarded of me, perhaps even slightly psychotic. what i do want is...(the rest of this post has been edited out by the site administrator, have a nice day!)