here's some super old shit i wrote years ago, but it's all true, and some of you "new antidis... readers" may have never read it.
anti's guide to getting robbed
So i was on my way home from I-Search, Inc.., it was 4pm in the afternoon, and the sun was shining in Hawthorne, CA. The plan was to meet up with my friend Brooklyn and buy and 1/8 of weed. he lived two apartment buildings over from me, and always was home. the perfect pot guy. and besides, i had been busting my ass with that shitty resume proof reading job, and i needed to get high. on the way home was my bank, hawthorne savings, the one right there on hawthorne boulevard.
it closed right at four o'clock so i had to use the ATM machine at the front.
i parked my red truck in front of the place, popped out of the truck, punched some buttons, collected the cashhh, and waited for my reciet...
"FUCK YOU FOOL, GIMME YOUR MONEY" some guy came up to me was saying this shit. what? yeah right. i asked, "are you kidding?" then he showed me his revolver.
so i gave him my money, swore that it was all the money i had, and asked if i could keep five bucks (i will never forgive myelf for that one).
because he gave me five bucks and said that now i "owed" him a ride. you don't know how hard it is to reach over and unlock the door for the guy with a gun who wants to kill you. as we start driving he starts holding the gun in my face and all i can see is the bullets in the gun. it was loaded as fuckkkk. he pats me down and finds my cigarettes, and askes me if i have anything valuable at my house, like a VCR or CD player.
my mind jumps to my live in girlfriend (at the time) Kristen. that's what i have at home as well as all the other things he wants. so i tell him i don't have and then he finds my CD book, and get pissed. he's alsoo been going on and on about how he wants to take me into the wilderness and take my clothes off and torture me to death.
so that's it. i'm done. stick a fucking fork in me for chrissakes. i'm convinced that i am going to die as a result of this, and the only thing i can focus on is making sure that when i do die, it will be as painless as possible, because i am NOT about to get tortured to death. by this time we are on a residential street approaching the first stop sign. i stop.
and my mind races. i think to myself, "i can't go on... this has to end now, or never. i reach to the ignition, and shut the car off, and look my attacker in the eyes. "you need to either kill me now, motherfucker, or get the FUCK out of my car." when i think back, i don't know how i did it. where'd those balls come from, becuase i'm not really much of a tough guy type. the guy replied, "i'll just jack your car, fool...!" but as he was saying that i told him i was bending the keys and made a bending gesture with my hands
(but i was only pretending) and proceeded to honk at some random mexican guy that had was walking around the corner.
"MUCHACHO HE HAS A GUN" i screamed... my attacker, opens the car, and tells the mexican (who is totally freaked out of his mind, at this point) that it's, "s'all good, yo, it's allll good...." and with that i see my chance. i fire up my truck fast as possible and start flooring it before i even have a chance to throw it into drive.
the fucker whips around, and manages to pop a shot off that sails through the cab of the truck and punches through the windshield directly in front of me.
holy of holiest shits. so okay, i'm like running every stop sign i can and honking my horn freaked out of my skull.
i get home, run up to my apartment and and yell to kristen to, "call the police! call 911!" and i tell my story to some operator, while it takes the sheriffs FOREVER to get to my house. the whole time i'm scared too, because i didn't really live all that far from where i lost that guy, and who knows, maybe he could find me because he did see my name, and he could possibly remember my truck if he saw it.
it was shitty.
when the sherriffs arrived it turns out they took so long because they were chasing down the guy. when he fired that round off at me, someone in the area called the cops right then, and they got into a foot chase, and they even got the guys gun. but that's like, who fucking cares? scum like that can get a gun real fast. so i lucked out, i only lost $60, and even made out with five bucks that i started off with, because he gave that back to me. the worst part was by this time it was alreaday 4:45pm and my neighbor pot guy was already leaving for his job as a bartender, and i couldn't even get a bong hit until tomorrow.
that was the worst day of my life, and to this day i will never under stand why the signs say, Welcome to Hawthorne, the City of good neighbors. yeah right.
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