i was making my rounds and smoking my cigarettes, when i drove past some roadkill on a freeway onramp, so i got off the freeway and was circling back when....
i find some shmuck selling a local newspaper "the sun" for $1 on the southwest corner of the intersection of redlands ave and mountain view in the city of loma linda. and this fat bald FUCK, has taken a few of my signs, turned them around to the blank side, and wrote, "the sun $1" on the back.
that's not gonna fly with me, yo. so i flipped a bitch, chirping my tires, and flung my truck to a screeching hault in front of him. i threw on my emergency flashers, unlocked my door, and popped out with my 3lb. Roughneck Mallet in my right hand.
i went and fixed the backwards signs and told the guy, "ya know, they pay a lot of money for me to manage these signs. don't use them."
he said, "i was gonna put them back when i was done, man."
i said, "how about next time. you get your own signs." and i turned and walked back to my truck, and started to drive away. i looked in my rear view mirror and you won't believe what i fucking saw. the fat bald piece of shit walked up to the sign, and kicked it flat. i got so angry my hands were shaking, i flipped a bitch, and flew back to the motherfuckers corner.
i parked in traffic and grabbed two signs out the back of my truck and went over to homie, "why the fuck did you do that?" i asked.
and the motherfucker had the nerve to say to my face, "oh, i tripped... oops."
i put up two sings where he had kicked over the one, to prove my point, the whole time chewing my lip off so as not to flip out.
he went over to sell a paper to a car that pulled up and i weighed the pros and cons of kicking over his little faggy basket that he left on the corner.
i used my best judgment and got back into my car which was holding up traffic and being honked at, and i swooped arond the corner to spy on him.
i got out of my car, and went over to stand around by him, to double check that he hadn't knocked anything over again.
i went into the SUBWAY sandwhich place and bought a large raspberry iced tea. i had a plan brewing in my head... i was gonna drive up on the guy, throw my cold iced tea on his stupid uglyhead, and laugh phycoticly while i peel out waving my middle finger back at the guy, sticking out the car window loud and proud.
but that's how trouble starts. it was only two signs. and i used better judgement... anyways, i think fatty had gotten the point by now, so i went off to get my road kill photo as per Plan A.
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