Anti abandons the internet.

i've got my mind back on track, it's like what a friend told me, "you need to do more to be pro-active towards your own progress, and only because you want to"

im realizing more and more how touchy the brain truly is.

being a guy i always prided myself on being able to shake most things off. and it's true, as guys we can typically do that with not a whole shitload of effort.

but it's my belief also, that as guys, we tend to put more on our plate than we can actually handle (emotionally, and responsibility-wise) because we consider ourselves "tougher".

see, the thing is that it's un-necisary. you're bearing more weight than you need to. in fact, im sure some of you have a person in your life who tries to pull the deep dark hidden feelings you have and won't let yourself think about.

be careful is all im saying...

and with responsibility... hey man, that's really great that you want to be a martyr like that and sacrifice your own happiness to try and make everyone else happy. but see, and this is hard for some guys to understand (because they are blinded by a sense of duty) but...

YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY!!!

no one can make anyone anything. and in fact, if your ultimate goal is to make someone else happy, the best way to start would be to make yourself happy first, so it's not the blind leading the blind. do you get me?

so just bone out and work on you, because when the shit hits the fan and there's noting left but a smelly mess... YOU are all you GOT. and if you wasted all your energy putting yourself into SOMEONE ELSE, then man, it might be too late for you.

give up you stupid loser. dream small for yourself. you may not be blind, but you sure have trouble seeing past the end of your nose.

you know what impulses are? you feel those right? well fucking jump on them. don't always think things out. use your gut-feeling, and run with it.

i have decided to eliminate bad influences from my life. and start pumping in more positive influences. because it's great that i write these self motivating rants to myself, but i need to kick it up a gear and start DOING something about it for once. like, whoa... i made my bed today. TA DA.

ok MORE MORE MORE.... ummm.... i know, i haven't ridden my skateboard in like forever. it's time.

peace out.

posted by John  # 2:40 PM