Anti abandons the internet.

download "Knew U"
from Pharcyde's Humboldt Beginnings NOW.
here's a sample.

nothing easy was worth a shit. you have to cry before you can laugh. there's no shame in swinging for the fences and missing, never trying is a bitch on the other hand. don't say "i'll try to..." say "i will".

i have a reason to want more for myself, and that reason is ME. i deserve to find atman and pass him a joint.

have you ever looked inthe mirror and wanted to take a magicmarker and start crossing out your face? just make it a big ink stain sitting on your shoulders...

hating yourself is as much beating-off as loving yourself.

anti the talker. anti the loudmouth preacher know it all... he thinks he has all the answers as he hypocritacly "tells it like it is" yah... great... i do SO MUCH good ranting and raving like a look and never following my advice.

even now, i know that sitting here searching for something to tell the internet is not making me better. it's only helping me perpetuate the facade that is MYSELF.

it's all the "wah wah wah" that i've done over the years on the blog about my dad. hey, BOO HOO FOR ME, my dad sucks, who's doesn't? the thing is, MY DAD did the best he could for me. he was a man doing all he knew how to be the best man he could. he just didn't know well enough, and was too proud to ever ask anyone for help.

i love you dad. i'll never speak to your sorry ass again. but i am done blaming you for things i am upset about. i am a great person because, and in spite, of you.

the time to pull myself up by my bootstraps and start to FINALLY BE A MAN, and stop being a boy is today. it was yesterday. it was a year ago.

im not gonna do this alone anymore. i need a helper, and i think it's easier to lie to myself and say i dont need nothin.

but who does that help? lying to myself was the first mistake i ever made back before i even knew how to tie my shoes.