Anti abandons the internet.

so i woke up this morning to one of my signwalkers baby's mama's calling me, to inform me, that her "man" wouldn't be making it into work today, because she's sick, and she needs help from him watching the baby.

"you can't go chill with your sister?"

"no... she'll drive me crazy."

"ok, you can't get one of your homegirls to roll over and kick it?"

"i feel sick again, im going to barf..."

*click*

ooooo k. i guess that means no. or does it mean her lazy ass man wants to stay home and watch football games all day? well i was within an inch of driving STRAIGHT OVER THERE to make sure was really sick, and not lying ot me, becuase i wanted that MF to work. and he got away with it this time... but he wont be so lucky next time.

the truth is, some people just wont work, no matter how badly you need them to. you can hold a fucking gun to their head, and instead of getting to work like you demand, they'll close their eyes and hope the bullet is a dud.

weird.

my other signwalker told me that the viking gave her bunk directions. but what she didnt know was that i was standing directly to the left of the viking as he called her and gave her the directions. AND... at no point did he tell her lying ass to go EAST on the 91 freeway. stop lying girl, you're dealing with a professional human lie detector.

but thats how work is man. when you're the boss you have to fucking check people and let them know that when they fuck up, you are not going to pat them on the head and say, "awwww, it's ok baby doll, i love you!" because that's mommy's job, and my job is to tell you, "IM PISSED, GET HERE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE YOU ARE FIRED!" because that's what bosses do.

hector tried to get crazy too. saying he didnt know he was sposed to pick up freddy from buena fucking park. i even had a chat with him about it as i drove him to his spot. he was busy apologizing profusley (at least thats a good start) and then when i asked him if he had written anything down from when we did the signwalker schedule, he said he only wrote down the directions. well he learned this week that he has to write down everything the viking says, or we will go hire someone that CAN. because being short a signwalker is the ultimate bitch.

where did i find one? well i could tell you, but then you'd know some of my tricks, and those tricks are why they pay me the big bucks.

let's just say i didn't flinch for a second, becuase frazzled nerves, and stressed out brains dont make your job any easier, and i KNOW im the bomb ass sign guy from hell, and YOU BETTER BELIEVE that i was right on time when i walked into the sales tent to check in with our client. killin it softly is all i know how to do.

i came home because i felt like i should reward myself with a bong hit off the house bong. the car bong is nasty, i think i need to throw that shit away.