Anti abandons the internet.

it's finally over, thank fucking god.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

 
ok fat people, i get it, you are sensitive and dont like being laughed it. stop emailing. don't be mad at anti, be mad at god for making waddeling so fucking funny. i don't even believe in god, so the joke's on you.

i think if you believe in that shit, that's great on you. i hope it betters your life, and it truly might. but the rationale some people use is plain retarded.

you'll hear that they have proof god exists, and whenever i hear such a claim, my ears perk up, because you're typically about to hear some funny ass shit.

so yah, a typical story will be that some guy's mom and dad died in a plane crash, his wife got cancer, and his daughter was kidnapped and murdered... but he KNOWS GOD IS REAL because, after all that tragedy and misery, god was kind enough to help the asshole buy the winning lotery ticket from his local beer store.

so god is real because he let the guy have $5,000, but at the same time killed off his whole family.

what a nice god.

i've even heard my religious family use god for weird ideas, like, "oh look how we got a parking space so close to the theater, that must be god watching out for us..."

ummm ok? so god punishes the non believers by making them park far? listen to yourselves.

or how my religious cousins who are my SAME AGE will spout things like, "evolution is satanic, and besides, i didn't come from no monkeys!"

riiiiight.... the scientific fossil record is to be completely ignored. way to be open minded.

honestly tho, i don't hate fat people, i just hate the ones who act all high and mighty about it, and want to paint a pretty picture about being victimized by their fatness.

oh woe is me... life is so hard with this condition... im simply helpless, and unable to tolerate criticism... yet i dish out criticism as if i was cast as the oracle in the matrix

why is letting people live their lives the way they want to live so hard for you? why must you be so smug to assume that im wrong and you're right? you haven't even heard me out, man.

i have this other uncle who's claim to fame is one upping every single other family member. and he has done so very effectively, and on the surface, by all acounts he appears to be a happy man.

but one upping everyone? it seems so petty, and so twistedly self-absorbed, and how is a man living out his life if he's forever in some sort of secret competition with his family?

that's just loony to me.

you can't compare yourself to others. look at me for example...

compared to doogie howser, im a grade A retard. but compared to george bush... im albert einstein.

what does that tell me about myself? not a god damned thing. you can't look outside to find the answers within.






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