see... mark's an idiot, and the proof is that he lost his wallet today.
he was taking a dump in the del taco, and someone was pounding on the door trying to get their turn.
mark let the guy in, and headed back to his corner to grab his signwalking stick, and get back to work.
he was close to 20 yards away when he realized that he had forgotten his wallet in the bathroom, and ran back in time to see the guy who took it driving away.
"but mark, why did you have your wallet out in the bathroom? what were you doing in there?"
"i was taking a shit, man. i had my wallet out because i was counting my money.... i know, im an idiot."
"...and the del taco wouldn't let me use the phone to call the police. im pretty sure that's a crime."
"losing your wallet is a crime?"
"no, a crime happened on del taco's property, and they wouldn't let me use the phone. im pretty sure that i can sue them."
"sue them for what?"
"i dont want to talk about it anymore."
"mark, buddy... i don't think you have a case. you didn't have your wallet stolen as much as you just LOST it, and why is anyone obligated to let you use their phone?"
"well you're a retard if you think that."
"if im the retard, then why am i the one who still has their wallet? dipshit."
"they have to let me use their phone, because the crime happened on their property. this is just the break i need, this law suit will make me thousands of dollars."
"mark, im tellin you buddy, it was only $60 that you lost. how are you going to get thousands? do you know how law works?"
"i took a civil liberties class in highschool, man, i KNOW what im talking about."
"if you say so. i wishyou luck, man."
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