Anti abandons the internet.

to completely avoid all the things that are bumming me out, i will write about a meaningless boring story that happened in my past.

the first time i got busted with weed:

my friends and i had convinced my sister carrie to buy us a double bubble, double chamber, two foot acrylic bong, made by the company Matrix. and it was a champion bong.

it lived in a locked wooden chest in my bedroom at my dad's house, because there was no way in hell i would be able to pull the wool over my mom's eyes at her house, like how i was able to do so to my dad.

and so before, after, and(or if we ditched) during school, we would congregate in the safety of my bedroom, and start making clouds. all i had to do was towel the bottom of the door, turn my fan so it pointed straight out my window (like an exhaust) and no one would ever know. sometimes we went the extra mile and lit an inscent, or blew our smoke through empty toilet paper tubes shoved full of dryer sheets.

usually the only two people home was the maid that my dad had pick up after him, and the gold digging wife. both of whom stayed far away from me and my bedroom.

well, im not sure WHO narced on me, but i've always suspected it was my oldest sister julie who lives in chicago. and as a result i have not spoken to her since then... but it's ok, my real sisters and i never liked julie. so my dad comes to me one day, and wants to know what's in the wooden chest i keep padlocked.

i knew i was fucked.

we went up to my room, and with nervous hands i unlocked my secret paraphernalia stash.

my dad took all my pipes and my bong, and threw them away, and then it was time for "the big talk"

luckily IM as good a spin dr. as my pops, and i wove this sob story about how some girl broke my heart, and within seconds we were off the marijuana topic, and onto the topic of picking up ladies.

needless to say, i wasn't in any trouble at all.

and i only had to get caught like that two more times before he gave up on busting me, started calling me "bong man", and i could smoke weed with the door wide open.