Anti abandons the internet.

i know i'll be ok.

i mean, i will struggle when i have to. and we all have to. but i'll get by. i'm a animal, no better than a rat... just trying to survive.

and so are you.

and survival is tricky when you don't live in reality. not that i DO. i mean i try to. as much as i can i fucking TRY. but like some people have their head SO FAR UP their own ass... well... they just can't get past anything you say because they aren't even living in reality.

does that make sense?

i mean, like i try not to come off like i am all that much better, or any better at ALL... because what the fuck do i know?

the only person i can control is myself. and i do so.

but the thing i do that makes me special. that sets me apart from the "herd" mentality is the fact that i take responsibility.

any and everything in my life i don't like i blame MYSELF for. because i create my own FUCKING destiny.

i feel like im repeating myself, i mean, come onnnnnn. get with me here on this one.

like ok, you just got robbed at your ATM machine at 4pm in the afternoon... at gunpoint you drive this guy around, until you miraculously escape with your life... like what happened to ME...

know who's fault that was? mine.

i got robbed because I and only i chose the wrong atm in the wrong city at the wrong time, and welp, i could have used a trillion other ATM's that where either safer and/or less convenient than the one i got robbed at.

but ultimately, see? i don't have control over some robber. i only have control over me. and so giving this guy the OPPORTUNITY to rob me was my mistake.

now my example is totally flawed, because you can't live your life worrying about the what if's, thinking to yourself, "welp anti got robbed so now i can never use an ATM..."

cuz that's ridiculous.

its just a way to illustrate that there's a way to accept responsibility for your OWN actions in EVERY setting.

i used to say, "well so and so didn't hold a gun to your head... so it's not THEIR fault... it's your own fault, you LET it happen..."

but now even with a gun pointing at you, just like the fully loaded revolver that was pointed right at my forehead... i created a situation where i COULD be a victim, and i accept that.

fuck this. i am just talking now and i am sure that my point is totally lost.

JUST STOP BLAMING PEOPLE FOR YOU SHIT.

that's my point.

for fucking once consider that you are to blame for everything you don't like in you r life. not ANYone else.

noone else.

posted by John  # 2:13 AM