back when everyone was too young to be able to say they hated playing AYSO soccer, there was a team of all of us stoners from highschool.... everyone was no older than 8 or 9 years old, and oddly everyone was named either brian or ryan.
there was brain hart, ryan wood, ryan wetham, and of coarse.... ryan WHITE. so the mom's all had to make up nicknames to make cheering for your son less confusing.
and somehow the name whitey stuck. whitey just looks like a whitey, and even though he introduces hisself as ryan everywhere he goes, people can't help it, and eventually start calling him whitey, or a variation of whitey.
whitey's stepdad had a good description of whitey, he said, "talking to ryan is like reading book. but only one word off each page."
in highschool whitey was totally mr. popular. he was a stoner legend. and fuckit, he still is. of all us losers back then, HE was the first to switch over to chronic while the rest of us were still picking seeds out of our dirtweed. and of all of us losers, him and i are the only ones who still kick it. peter became a tweaker, dave's girlfriend is a hater and keeps him locked down, and weissman is cut off.
i give whitey advice about his imaginary love life, and he pretends to listen. and we compete to see who knows more beastie boy lyrics by heart.
another funny thing about my old friend is that he is the most alergic person in the whole world. he's even alergic to his own sweat... no lies. so he's barely ever wearing much clothing. i'm always barking at him to put his shoes on or his shirt on, and "hey bro, who the fuck are you??? spicole?"
but yah, what makes ryan the best is...
if you were stranded without a ride someplace...
and it was 6 or 8 hours away...
whitey would quit his job or dump his girlfrien to be able to help you out. he's one of those.
WASSAP, LIL SIS?
whitey is two hours away. i just called him.
and he's headed straight here, for bonig hits and beers. after i write this shizzle, imma head to 7-11 for some brews.
it's always so rad when whitey visits. and now that i figured out that adelanto is close enough that we don't need to stay in a hotel out there... i'm SUPER AMPED.
we are already making bigtime plans to pimp the hos on this holiday weekend. or at least hurting ourselves really bad on our skateboards. i haven't had a big bloody mess of a injury in far too long.
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