sitting in silence is my only true luxury...
with nothing turned on... not even my fan.
and i'll think of things. and just feeeeel them. let them hit me. soak it in.
then i'll lay down, turn on some random tv station... it won't matter what, cuz i'll barely pay attention, it's just to hear someone talking. and i'll sit there in bed, with my shoes still on... and let the hours slide me by.
knowing there's a world of fun, and drama, and all sorts of good and bad things that i'm just abstaining from.
staying away cuz i'm ashamed. embarrassed about who and what i am.
i bought a gameboy advance. i think i blew my money
back to the task at hand... seeing how much cigarette smoke i can fill this apartment with before the paint peels off.
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