the first chance i get to spend money on something non food or bill related, i'm getting myself a universal remote control for my TV. that's my huge luxury item purchase.
i discovered the smart way to replace light bulbs is to steal them from the light ficxtures in the hallways of my apartment building. and the best part is not that they're that cool flourecent ikea style of lightbulb that doesn't burn out for ever and ever, but that the light bulb in the hallway gets magically replaced. it's sparking an idea for a light bulb ebay auction extravaganza. i obviously have infinite supply.
MTV is sucking the life out of american youth culture. middle america, shame on you.
buying a pink lighter to prevent theft doesn't work. i'll steal whatever i can fit in my pocket.
chicken flavored ramen tastes like crap. especially after the 50 millionth serving in a row.
i told an old lady in my building, who looked even older than the ladies on golden girls, that i agreed it was cold out and, "my nipples can totally cut glass"
dail up is a joke.
my friends live in this back house situation, and there's all this crazy plantlife, and therefore... crazy wildlife. so i was a little freaked out when i came within inches of getting hosed down by a skunk. and when i picked up what i thought was a dropped bonghit off the ground, and it turned out to be a spider the size of a US quarter crawling all over my hand... i felt a wee bit unnerved. but it was two seconds later when it fucking happend AGAIN that i decided, FUCK NATURE.
sometimes i just want to go out drinking with my friends, even though i haven't been able to afford that in ages. and now that i think about it, i've alienated myself so much, i don't even have most of those friends anymore anyways. but tony pierce says i can be a bowling team sub. out with the old, in with the new. p.s. this does not include the 3 or so friends i still talk to.
is it wrong to hate my mom for calling me right when i was whacking off, and basically being a total mood killer. HAHAHAH. that's a joke, like as if guys need a "mood" to spank it. but seriously mom, you got some bad timing.
why is it that everyone is down to hang out, but only at their own house, and so noone caves, and noone leaves the safety bubble of their own house, and we all watch the premiere episode of the bachlorette alone... ?? hmmm?
i've always hated sleeping, it feels like i'm wasting time and energy. i'll lay in bed eyes wide awake, thinking... sure i could go to sleep, and waste 8 hours just laying perfectly still. OR... i could use the time better by studying tai bo. or knitting a badass sweater.
i use musk scented Speed Stick by Mennen because it's the official deodorant of the NBA or because it drives the ladies crayzay? or all of the above?
i'm hooked on buzznet.com, but i have run out of interesting pictures to take without leaving my apartment. bummer.
one of my guilty pleasures is thinking that ashton kucher is funny as fuck.
i think all the chicks on the san diego real world are ugly. except the korean and the blonde.
i prefer budweisser or whatever other piss beer you can get. fuck all this IPA micro brewery, mouthful of hopps and barely and oats bullshit. call me un-zany, but i'm just trying to get drunk, not have a tastebud party in my mouth.
vanilla vodka is evil, but in the best possible way!
i will beat you at 2004 madden, but only if we're playing on a playstation.
i love pretending to pick my nose and eat the boogers when people stare at me.
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