Anti abandons the internet.

it's finally over, thank fucking god.

Sunday, January 11, 2004

i'm anything but materialistic. or so my friends tell me...

i don't own shit. my walls and shelves and cupboards are bare. i moved in to this scumfest of an apartment in august... but if you had to guess, you'd prolly think i moved in yesterday.

that picture right there is what things looked like in here for the first two months. a beach chair, a couch, and myself. (that's my long haired friend dave in the shot, as well)

and since that picture??? well... little has changed.

and so the story goes that i was never materialistic. and again... "or so they say..."

cuz like i don't see it that way at all. to me i AM materialistic. i trusted people to move my shit for me, and even payed them to do so, cuz i had to be elsewhere, and when i returned after a few months, i asked them, "where's my stuff, my little trinkets and thingies, my printer and fax machine, my furniture i made in woodshop, my kitchen things (blender, silverware, plates, microwave), and where the fuck is all my artwork and stuff that hangs on the walls???"

imagine everything you own, and payed to have moved and stored, got thrown away. even pictures of like family members and friends from your childhood. everything. wiped out. all gone.

so like maybe now i am less materialistic. fuck ownership. ownership is onwershitty. having belongings is over rated. and even though i don't believe that,
and desperatley wish i had a million things to play with
or look at
or just have belong to me...
if i don't pretend i hate it, i end up dwelling on how angry it makes me.

you people can't understand or relate, so nevermind. it's not your fault you're smarter than me and would never let this happen to yourself. it's my fault.

i'm starving myself trying to climb back up the ladder. and i'm trying and trying, with little to NO help from anyone. how do you know when to give up? i think i'm at that point.

"good things come to those who wait"? like what? a slower more painful death? they need to change that saying so it reads, "waiting sucks, instant gratification is the bomb"

the end

<< Home


December 2002   January 2003   February 2003   March 2003   April 2003   May 2003   June 2003   July 2003   August 2003   September 2003   October 2003   November 2003   December 2003   January 2004   February 2004   March 2004   April 2004   May 2004   June 2004   July 2004   August 2004   September 2004   October 2004   November 2004   December 2004   January 2005   February 2005   March 2005   April 2005   May 2005   June 2005   July 2005   August 2005   September 2005   October 2005   January 2006   July 2007  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


Tony Pierce