Anti abandons the internet.

good pot costs on average $50 an eighth. i can get the cheaper shit. but i need more of it to get as high. so it all evens out in the end.

this person wrote how they find it hard to meet new people. i think that's crazy. i'm trying to learn how to turn off the flow of new people. know what i mean?

i used to be extremely shy, and insecure... and i used to be that guy at the party or the club who was glued to the wall, and all that. and at the time it was pre-lasik eye surgery... so i couldn't even see anything anyways... because i was too embarassed by my nerdy ass glasses.

but then one day, and i don't know how i came to the conclusion, i decided... "being shy is for PUSSIES"
and it is

i'm still a shy loser pussy deep down... but i've mastered the art of faking like i'm not.
i would just be loud, and smile retardedly at everyone, and know some good jokes, and let'er rip. even though the whole time i had this flushed feeling in my face, because i knew the sham i was putting on for everyone as "mr. confidence", was gonna come crumbling apart any second.

but it didn't.

so i did it more and more, until i i got to the point where it came naturally... and now i can make friends in any city in under ten minutes. (any english speaking city, at least)

i guess you gotta want it bad enough. if the risk of looking stupid out weighs the desire to meet new people... that's cool, i can respect that, and i have chosen that path for most of my 24 years on mother earth...
but i'll tell ya what... looking stupid ain't so bad. in fact, i've parlayed looking stupid into "part of my charm". everyday i do something dumb, be it that i trip over my own feet, or have a huge magic marker streak on my face the whole day. but it's cool, cuz i just laugh it off, and make a joke of it, and it's no big whup.

i derno. it feels like now i'm off on a tangent. so i'm done. for now.

i'm busy anyways, i got advil pills to swallow, and glasses of water to drink. flu this, M F.

Georges Bataille + Henry Miller + William S. Burroughs + Charles Bukowski