Anti abandons the internet.

life is tough.
and just keeps getting tougher
it never stops
i think i'm gonna shower for a year.
self inflicted chinese water torture.

everyone is raising their eyebrows at me as i walk by... like i'm some kinda wierdo for bringing zip-lock baggies to the happy hour free buffalo wings table at the ole locale pubbery.

dignity is a luxury afforded by the haves, not the have-nots.

my next move is to bring a back-pack full of styrofoam to-go boxes to the sizzler all-you-can-eat salad bar, and go "grocery" shopping.

lifting the ban on lap dances in Los Angeles. + THIS is where i'd go if i had money

then i got this email from my friend vanessa from FL.
From: "Vanessa " <*********@hotmail.com>
To: ruttedout [at] yahoo.com
Subject: sorry
Date: Tue, 04 Nov 2003 10:06:43 -0800

i drempt that me & my cohorts had to kill you & this baby 'cause you guys were evil & trying to get us. I stabbed the baby with a pencil repeatedly & goo came out. It was very disturbing. I forgot how we finished you off but I think you were only half dead and we left you in the forrest to die. One of your arms was small & shrivelled up like a T-Rex. Someyhing about you broke it and removed the pins premeturely so it never healed properly. Creepy huh.

but i wasn't sure if she thought is was creepy because it was too close, or too far, from reality.