ok. so he has the same first name as me. as anyone who has read alllll of this blog will know. i hate people with my same name automatically. and he's this militant black guy who on the first time i met him, made me late for work because he was going off about how i should become a marine. got it so far?
so this one time while i was in between apartments living at mom's house, she went out of town leaving me and fuckwad to fend for ourselves without her to mediate.
i came home from serving tables at the chart house retaurant, really late too man... and fuckhead is STILL up watching tv. i decided i wasn't gonne let his snoopy ass prevent my usual off work duties. so i towel up the crack at the bottom of the door, open my window, pull the bong out from it's secret hiding place, blaze it up, and make a pathetic attempt to blow it out the window. wash, rinse, repeat.
i was halfway into my slack-jawed wall staring ritual i have, when i was jarred by pounding on my bedroom door...
"You're smoking REEFER in there i can smell it! OPEN THIS DOOR"
i said nothing of coarse. i thought maybe he'd get tired and go away. or i could crawl out the window. but he kept banging on my door, yelling his head off. he threatened to kick my ass even.
it was actually on the third time he said he was gonna beat me up that i lost it. first of all, this joker wasn't gonna beat up shit. he was past his prime, out of shape, and a total joke. so i threw open the door, and got right in his face (btw i was taller than his loser-ass) and told him,
"OH YEAH?! you think you can take me mother fucker, go ahead!"
i was heated, and talking shit, and had my finger pointed at him all in his face. where's mr. i'm-gonna-kick-your-ass NOW, eh? i called him out for being a wino, and a moocher, and was sooooooo pissed. what a fucking buzz kill.
in the end my mom kicked both our asses out of the house. but she had my back for punking Mr. Fuckass.
she ended up dating him for another year or two after... but at least him and i didn't speak to eachother now. it makes me feel like i won.
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