working from home might not be working out. i sit down with these files and do everything possible to not work. anything possible. i'll decide that it's 3am and, "wow what a great time alphabatize my my sock drawer!". there's something painful about working. like the feeling i'd get when school was juuuuuust about to let out, you know? and you couldn't stand it.... the teachers voice literally causing your head to pound... your forehead all sweaty... and when the bell rang, body checking your way out the door first. FREE! i remember being angry as i left those classrooms. thinking, "those commie pig fuckkers will PAYYY" i probably just needed a smoke.
my mom called me and told me she's cancelling christmass. my sisters didn't want to exchange presents, and i was like so totally relieved and told mom that i felt the same way, and then i hung up the phone feeling like maybe we are all related after all. it's wierd to watch christmass and thanksgiving pass without really participating in it. i like being oblivious to it. i only celebrate the real
holidays like my birthday, and 4th of july.
and what's wrong with cab drivers. i've never met just like a normal-dude cab driver. they so totally hunt down the most socially inept persons on the globe. hits-herself-in-the-face-girl from the retard class in highschool had more grace than some of these dickfaces.7:49pm
having your priorities straight is so important. today i chose sleeping all day as the most productive thing i could be doing. i had appointments i had to be at, files i should be typing, but i just pretended i didn't. and i lied about having "car trouble" to get away with it. they were pissed.