i really do need all new friends. One's with new stories, ones that haven't heard mine. i feel like i'm trapped in a hamster wheel. running and running, and yet going nowhere. and the scary part? i'm like so much better off than most of my peers. i have friends calling me
for job advice, for crying out loud. i'm like,
"uhhh... how about trying starbucks?"
what do i know?
everyone is always trying to get an answer from me about something.
"anti, how do i make a resume?"
"anti, why does windex-no-drip, drip less than regular windex?"
"anti, can you explain to me postcolonial criticism and the conflict between postmodernism and 2nd wave feminist theory?"...of course, i quickly rattle off the correct answers, and get irritated.
i'm too busy to brush my teeth and go pee, but no no no, lemme take time out to help YOU
. i mean, fuuuuck
next set of friends i get, i'm keeping everything i know about a secret.
fuck that. enough of that hostility. instead i'll choose to come down with sudden case of the, "hmmm... i'm not so sure" 's, and the, "i sorta forgot" 's...
and i'm totally ignoring christmass this year. i might buy myself
a present or two. at least that way won't have to do the fake smile and barf enducing, "thank you..." for the piece of shit i want to throw away
it always appears the person thinks that i'm not sincere anyway, and they're right. i'm not