Anti abandons the internet.

it's finally over, thank fucking god.

Monday, August 22, 2005

 
firstly im sorry. because i have anger problems... latent ones. and i unleash them on you. my mind starts JUMPING to outragous conclusions, and immediately goes *gasp* this cant be!!

it's incredibly ludicris and extremely selfish, and i have to beat the parts i dont like about my behaviour into submission. CRACK that whip.

and the anger turns inward, because it knows nowhere else to go.

maybe im not stoned/numb enough yet, and reality of things i choose to ignore sink in, and i feel like a whopping loser. like a disapointment to YOU, and to everyone. Mr Let Down.

hi.

i can smack my own face, and feel that sting, and it feels good for ten seconds, buts it a short fix. so is a bloody nose.

i feel like a walking facade. a FAKER. a ball of pathology that somehow is able to fool the average bear. i feel like a booey bobbing in a sea of lies. the biggest lie is that im a smiley happy go lucky space monkey.

i'm a self loathing, complicated, dark individual, with a moral structure that would make most of my family cringe, and the ability to hide away in my cave where im protected by privacy.

you dont deserve these unpredicatble fits of illogic. these curve ball pitches, thise no-look passes.

i'm a semantical peice of garbage, because backed into a corner, i refuse to give up and call a truce. i play games like, "but you said that ONE word, and the dictionary definition of THAT word clearly states that..." like some kind of water rataining PMSing soccer mom.

ok, i think i need to barf now, im sorry for this mornign. and for being a shmuck. i hope you know i just somehow wok eup with my head FAR up my ass this morning, and i know you dont need that shit now or EVER. im sorry.






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Tony Pierce