Anti abandons the internet.

it's finally over, thank fucking god.

Monday, March 07, 2005

my cousin is quite upset with me because, he says, "you only care about yourself, and your little world." and adds that he, "isn't the only one who feels that way."

after some well chosen mud slinging by both him and myself... he closes the case with why he was initially bothered by my actions.

to him, it was more of a lack of actions. i took this picture:

and didn't warn my cousin of what i saw. he only saw that picture by chance on my buzznet account. and so well... he's pissed. he feels like i should have stepped up and told him that there might be a problem with his car, instead of acting like it didn't exist, and letting him be exposed to a potentially shitty situation... because WHAT IF HIS TRUCK BROKE DOWN.

much like if MY truck broke down, he would be fucked. royally fucked.

so, now that the heat of the confrontation has subsided, and now that i can just chill out and reflect on what my cousin was upset about... i guess i can see his side of this.

he was checkin out my buzznet pics, and saw what he saw, and literally just wondered to himself why i wouldn't alert him to the potential royal fucking RIGHT AWAY. also because my cousin would make sure that i was aware of such a problem with my car (and i know he would).

Mike will admit that his method for telling you he is upset does NOT involve many roses, or very much harp music, and i guess i can swallow my pride and stop being defensive about it, and admit it.

i'm a selfish motherfucker who cares only about himself. and really that's not even accurate. so lemme clean it up.

i'm a person who cares about other people, but who has his head so far up his ass, that really... it's just a big let down, and welcome to disapointment town, population:EVERYONE IN MY LIFE. i do nice things for people. it can be proven with examples... but in 99.9% of those examples, i only do nice things when it's also conveniant for ME. if you need my help, and i have to be bothered "too much", i'll prolly just shine it off.

that's who i am. that's me being me. but im FUCKING WORKING ON IT MAN. im becomeing a NEW ME.

you brought up, mike, that i wake up at noon everyday, and i am sucked into the internet, and you joked, "the matrix has you, man. UNPLUG!!!" and now that im calm, i can laugh at that, because it is funny.

and true. i need to FUCKING UNPLUG.

i went skating today, i woke up at a decent hour, and YES.... i checked my stats only three times (so far).

don't say that i pride myself on being a lazy fucking waste-o. I DON'T.

i pride myself being all i can be, and recognizing my faults, and working to correct them. that's what makes me proud.

and for the record, i was going to tell you about you car bleeding. but i was wrong for not calling you IMMEDIATELY. because that would have been the right thing to do.

and im sorry.

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Tony Pierce