but whatever. there wasn't even a birthday dinner for my birthday. so there.
anyways tonight is angela's birthday, and im sure it involves booze, but im driving there, so i derno, maybe i'll bring my skateboard, or put a pillow in my car. my car FULL of signs. or maybe i'll just get less buzzed than everyone else.
my mom wants me to eat with her on wednesday and my grandparents too. fat chance. i like playing phone tag better.
tomorrow is accupuncture city, for ole johnny boy here. my chi has been buggin, yo.
if i never go back to the high desert, it will be too soon.
alan the signwalker and i raced in our cars from palmdale and the I-15 to the Maverick Stadium (because the last one there was a rotten egg) and DAMN. i like alan a lot because he was going 90 MPH on a 50MPH street, trying to bob and weave and get his shitty van in front of my Superior truck. Gonzallo would never be able to do that shit, he can barely get his piece of shit over 40MPH.
i had to fire three people over the weekend... the first two kinda fired themselves though, cuz they literally just boned out halfway thru their shift, without even gettign paid for the few hours they DID work.
so they are permanatly fired. i called his house and left the most pissed off voice mail.
the other person was some bi-polar chick who couldn't ackright if it killed her. but with her, i actually laid a guilt trip on her that she was gonna get not only her ass in trouble, but all her signwalker friends too... and then noone will have work, because she decided "it was too windy" well she was on her spot when we circled the block, and we told her husband she only deserves HALF pay, and that she's FIRED. he was like, "oh wow, that's very kind of you to give her half pay..." so i guess her husband knew she'd fuck off all day anyways. so yah, she was fired.
the coolest part of last night was when i drove home from adelanto in recrod time ONE HOUR! i didn't even let my shit go below 90miles per hour and if there was not a governor on my truck, i'd have gone faster than 100.
today i was gonna do a bunch of things. but i cant seem to wake the fcuk up. good night!
that's me. it's 8am, and i just got done driving for two hours. i'm like, strung out from the road.
we're not to be fucked with. especially because if we had it our way, we would have not woken up till 8am.
i must get sleep, and hope that this gash on my right palm stops oozing puss, and maybe i'll be able to make a fist tomorrow with that hand...
up by 6am, and off to the hi desert. and home by 9pm. can't wait to get tomorrow over with.
people are on their way over to escort my IN NEED ass to the bar and i hope i am unable to walk back home. crawling would be my prefered preferably.
im so weak from not eating anything, from nto even having a second to eat. i feel like taking time to eat, is like taking time to smell you own butt. sure it's great, when you got the time.
i bought new etnies jeans at a skate shop in victorville for half price. 20 bucks!
they're my newest favorite piece of clothing.
i WANTED a once of weed to smoke to my done, but all i could manage was a quarter. but its bomb. so who cares.
i dont even really wanna DRINK tonight. not drink drink. i just wanna be sure that when i come home to bed, i can fall asleep RIGHT away. and um the buzz is just a chance side effect. honest.
there was this one time when i went to do lunch with tony at the xbi. wich usually is bummer city for me, because those cats are on to me, and im on to them, and it's alll very hush hush, "let's pretend we're not trippin on eachother" but whatevs... that's just the rest of the xbi. tony's far more diplomatic. and the point is THIS ONE TIME it was after hours and there was noone but the lazy lobby security there, nearly half asleep, and i found tony burning the midnight oil, cracking out on cold case files.
i asked him, "tone? didja fergit we're heading out tonight?"
tony didn't reply verbally, he just gazed up from the manilla folder at me, took a sigh, and pushed back from the desk with his chair, as if to say, "fuckitletsgo"
but then tony hands me a blunt, a phillies blunt, and says, "damn G, shizzy be bizzy up in dis peice. twist up a blunt and lets boogie like loco, get me?"
but the moral of the story is, we DID this time.
ok there is no moral to this story. lets just say this is my way of letting the xbi know taht i know what cannot be known by knowers of the known knobowski.
well ok, imagine that you are on a raft, c'mon now, close your eyes, and feeeeel it... yes thats it...
ok snap out of it. i dont know where i was going with that.
i got all my money prepared, chopped up and divided into little bindles, ready for departure.
i got WOOD. tons of wood, like 500 brand new sticks, this is the high desert people, i ain't here to play with used sticks that have nubbed away points, new ones stick in the dirt like butter baby.
stir that pudding, till you lose the 'spoon'
and forreals i bought all new zip ties or as Art Webb (sum knucklehead signwalker) calls them... "strings", and even some boxes of 7/8" long capped roofing nails.
shit you, guess who even found time to swing by AAA to pick up some free maps? oh yes. duh. that would be YOURS TRULY.
adelanto is worse than going to AZ, but wayyyyyyy better than hell centro. just in case anyone wondered where it ranked on the shitty meter.
rumor has it that whitey rolls into town from the 6-hours-away santa cruz TONIGHT. excellent. if he gets here in time, you know how we do it. but that retard got his vision-psychostick, old school skateboard, with powell bones wheels on it, stolen from his truck. just like me.
cept imma fat cat signguy, and replaced mine. he says he's gonna do the same. he fucking better hurry up.
btw, alred penny worth got servvvved his papers, and it all very sad, and yah yah... BUT the good news, is that i write there now, and others too. we'll see what happens.
i feel confident cuz i got wind that the two greek guys im working for like me, and are stoked on the work i do. it's a relief because they are the two notoriously high maintenance clients i ever heard of in the sign biz.
i wanna buy the new issue of tolling stone magazine i heard theres good article on why bill oreilly is a dickwad. and stuff about why clear chanel can eat a dick.
im not looking forward to the weather conditions in the high desert.
its sucky up there.
so today turns out to be a day off. i found at last night before i saddled up for bed.
i slept like the dead wich was cool too.
i was gonna do like ten million things today including (but not limited to) stopping by my mom's house to get my mail there, fixing the slow air leaks i have in all four tires, laundry, yadda yadda.
but nothing feels nice. sometimes nothing is exactly what the doctor ordered. well that AND bonghits.
i wish i had some ReeseSticks.
here's an email i got from my sister carrie...
From: sister carrie
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 06:00:30 EDT
Subject: (no subject)
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John, I was just reading your blog. You think just like me. I am always arguing with maygan about voting for Kerry. She says that if I dont vote for Kerry, I am voting for Bush. What an idiot. I cant stand that stupid way of thinking. "Lets vote for this idiot, just so the other idiot won't win" What will all those followers say when Kerry is doing some shit to fuck us over in a few yrs? Anyways, what did that one guy mean when he typed " u should write 4 bring the beef" Has mom told u about the mad cow stuff too?
From: Reslock, Eric *****OK HERE'S MY FUCKING REPLY!!!!****
Anyhow, mister fancy pants, william f buckly quoter, I am NOT a republican, no matter how i may appear to you. and lets talk about assumtions. Who, exactly, amoung the two of us is merely just following the status quo? I say its YOU, mister sassy pants. YOU!!! With all your catch phrases that dont make any sense. I mean what fucking baby boom are you takling about? And single mothers?!?!? why dont YOU try raising a FAMILY making less then 30k a year?!?!? have some compassion, yer looking down from on high, the leeches you describe are teh mentally ill, the out of work, PEOPLE IN NEED!!! oh but yer only gonna help those people under the guise of your christian charities, so that its like you are holding them hostage, "if you don't think like me, then you dont get help from us" man give it up already. cuz you know you're craming that shit down their throats.
you said in yer email:
My point is on the whole
class warfare thing -- once poor people are allowed to think for themselves,
they realize that Republicans will actually help them live better. well, sir... what makes you think that poor people cannot think for themselves as it is? do you need money to do so? or are you simply saying that the republicans KNOW how to think, because when we're on your side everything's fucking gravy. well look out your window its not fucking gravy you bring up that republicans are pro pot. HAH. i read that piece of shit psuedo-intellectauls article, where he basically draws the same conclution that every highschhool kid in america figures out... "pots no big whup". answer to me how i can then support an administration that put Tommy Chong, practically an idol to me, IN JAIL!!!!! for selling a bong. fucking a. thanks republicans. i did a little RE-fucking-SEARCH on your ass. and looky what i found... like THIS, and THIS and THIS is i derno. that last one wasn't as tough as the fist two. but look!!! you are a homophobe. come out of the closet, it's a party. shit man, i like that you enjoy my blog. and i think that's umm... radical. whatever. but like you are barking up the WRONG tree.
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2004 01:30:36 -0700
Subject: WHOA DUDE
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are you really a .gov email person? does that mean you're an FBI spy
out to kill me, and/or leave comments on my glob?!?!?!
Hide options Aug 6
From: Reslock, Eric
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2004 09:16:14 -0700
Subject: RE: WHOA DUDE
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Duuuuuuude -- I am so very honored to receive an email from you. To answer: yes and no. I work for an elected official in Sacramento. We deal with tax issues -- but in a good way. I try to help our constituents get their problems resolved before FTB or BoE put liens on paychecks and/or properties. In some cases, I can unfreeze accounts and stuff which makes people really happy. I also do communications and legislative stuff. I started as a writer in the assembly in '96 and the path of least resistance has worked out pretty well. I like to help people, but I also like the fact that a major component of my job is checking all the papers statewide for stories, and think tanks and opinion leaders (and even blogs -- mostly political, but you guys too for formatting and style ideas). Out of all of this I pick what I find interesting and package it for my boss to consider -- which might lead to writing an op-ed under his name, a column for his ezine, or a mailer to some "interested parties" -- stuff like this.
Anyway, I like your circle. You guys remind me a lot of when I lived in Seattle (late 80s, early 90s) and embraced slackdom to the extreme. I guess not so much you as maybe Raymi, who does not appear to really do anything. I like how clean you guys write -- especially Ryan. It's like you read Hemmingway and nothing else. This is very good -- use only the number of words necessary. Tony not as much, but he went to UCSB and paid to have a lot of b.s. put in his head.
Sorry if I imposed by making a comment -- I like people who want to have a good time, but I've always been the guy who tries to impart good sense at the critical moment and get everyone home alive. Be safe and take care, ER
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 09:47:27 -0700
Subject: you can't be serious
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"the rest of the bush crime family, fuck all republicans. they're assholes." -- Dude, this is the second time you've come out swinging on us Republicans. You made an excellent post about supporting candidates you actually believe in and then you make this blanket statement. What I don't get is you've never posted anything that puts yourself outside the GOP. In fact, you've always sounded like a Republican to me.
Is it just that you assume every low-income, non white collar worker in America is against Bush so you just go along? Consider this -- under the Bush tax cut, single mothers that make less than 30K no longer pay any income taxes at all. Look at your next paycheck anti -- look at how much the asshole baby-boomers are stealing from you for social security. Not only are they stealing from you but they don't care. Bush has a plan that will let you keep some of that in an account that you control so it's not stolen from you by the Great Society leeches. My point is on the whole class warfare thing -- once poor people are allowed to think for themselves, they realize that Republicans will actually help them live better.
I'm not into going into a diatribe, just let me finally point out that unlike the Democratic party, the GOP has an influential constituency that is pro-legalization: http://www.nationalreview.com/buckley/buckley200406291207.asp
Tell me that doesn't surprise you. Ronald Reagan credits Buckley for him becoming president. Show me an equal high-profile Dem that is willing to put himself out there on the issue.
Isn't it time for you to come out of the closet and admit this party is right for you?
First of all, I did not make an excellent anything supporting anyone. How you got that I "believe" in anyone one of these canidates is beyond me.
From: Reslock, Eric
*****OK HERE'S MY FUCKING REPLY!!!!****
Anyhow, mister fancy pants, william f buckly quoter, I am NOT a republican, no matter how i may appear to you. and lets talk about assumtions. Who, exactly, amoung the two of us is merely just following the status quo? I say its YOU, mister sassy pants. YOU!!! With all your catch phrases that dont make any sense. I mean what fucking baby boom are you takling about? And single mothers?!?!? why dont YOU try raising a FAMILY making less then 30k a year?!?!?
have some compassion, yer looking down from on high, the leeches you describe are teh mentally ill, the out of work, PEOPLE IN NEED!!! oh but yer only gonna help those people under the guise of your christian charities, so that its like you are holding them hostage, "if you don't think like me, then you dont get help from us" man give it up already. cuz you know you're craming that shit down their throats.
you said in yer email: My point is on the whole class warfare thing -- once poor people are allowed to think for themselves, they realize that Republicans will actually help them live better. well, sir... what makes you think that poor people cannot think for themselves as it is? do you need money to do so? or are you simply saying that the republicans KNOW how to think, because when we're on your side everything's fucking gravy. well look out your window its not fucking gravy
you bring up that republicans are pro pot. HAH. i read that piece of shit psuedo-intellectauls article, where he basically draws the same conclution that every highschhool kid in america figures out... "pots no big whup". answer to me how i can then support an administration that put Tommy Chong, practically an idol to me, IN JAIL!!!!! for selling a bong. fucking a. thanks republicans.
i did a little RE-fucking-SEARCH on your ass. and looky what i found... like THIS, and THIS and THIS is i derno. that last one wasn't as tough as the fist two. but look!!! you are a homophobe. come out of the closet, it's a party.
shit man, i like that you enjoy my blog. and i think that's umm... radical. whatever. but like you are barking up the WRONG tree.
am i a russian?
like when i go to grab my lighter from the rightside pocket of my jeans... im in such a frenzy that i completely neglect the fact that my knuckles are bloodied scabbed up messes.
wich usually ends with me buldging my eyes out like a cartoon character, and then i start breathing like a lamaz instructor.
the smallest of cuts hurt the worstest. and if you ain't buyin it, go give yourself a papercut right now, and lets have a party.
it's late whatevs, i have to pick up lloyd and be at teh carson k-mart by 11am.
so it apperas im gonna drown my sorrows in workohol. yes it's true.
they are sending me to adelanto again.
victorville... apple valley...
TWO HOURS AWAY
but fuckit cuz like, it's my turn.
my helper is gonna be robert again, who is this homie gangsta lookin guy, and he has this car he bought for $80 that has no struts, but DOES have a huge raiders sticker on the back, and a boomin speaker system.
oh it doesn't go in reverse either... so robert has to park very creatively.
i think i might have normal people that i know and hang out with sign walk for me for reals. cuz welp, des is out of work, and the signwalking IS $8/hour... so who knows, she might be my newest employee.
she can sure get her start this weekend in adelanto.
big tanky wants to do it if des does it. even des's boyfriend is down.
and whitey has been slaving out his old buddy mark (the one with schitzophrenia) and getting mark in on the cut.
looks like the signs are putting money in everyone's wallets these days. thanks viking (he owns da biz, btw...)
the thing i'd like to do, is get more sign jobs for our company, and then get more sign guys trained up. wouldn't you want to be a sign guy? you slave out your friends, drive around, and smoke cigarettes. that's what i get payed to do.
so adelanto starts friday, and tomorrow i go to THE CITY OF CARSON oops caplocks
there's this big K-mart with a shitload of cars for sale in the parkinglot, and goold old anti is being called to duty to whip the ten signwalkers into shape, and crack that whip on their ass everyday.
im mean to them, but not really. im just mean to valerie, rosie, amber, alecia, danny's kids, and... Norm. but everyone hates norm.
and when i say mean, i just mean to say that im not doing ANY favors for those jerks. "cash advance?" fuck no. "can i get the good corner?" fuck no. "can we start early?" fuck no. and no i won't go to the store and buy you batteries, or put up with you taking an hour long shit when yer sposed to be holding yer sign, you can't sit down, and go ahead and just see how fast i'll make you sit the day out, waiting for your ride to get off work, so that you can ride home with no money.
sounds harsh, but not when it's either them or me. i don't put up with shit, cuz the people who hired me didn't give me nearly $4,000 a day in signwalker payroll money so taht i could pay people to fuck off all day.
i derno, i guess the typical signwalker has zero work ethic to start with. wich is why des, and perhaps her BF and and even bigger perhaps big tanky... they will be a breath of fresh air. ackright city.
welp, ackright city, or else they're fuckin FIRED!!!!!
she was freaking out when i called her last night, demanding that i go to letsroll911.org at once, and see for "my own eyes" that the plane that crashed into tower two, was not the plane that took off from the airport.
but i derno man
i don't believe that myself really.
i don't believe our government had hand in it, or saying that they "helped" the terrorists along. BUT i do beleive they "let it happen" nahmean?
me and bigtanky checked it out. i derno. it's kinda like whatever.
trueboy has made a call to action, kinda like the coach giving the team a pep talk at halftime. and i back her 100%.
it's like that whole "if i vote for nader, i throw my vote away" attitude. it's herd mentallity.
"well, anti, noon else's gonna!! so there!"
look, i by no means think ANYONE should vote for nader, that dude's lost his mind lately, but it's the point im making: if you want to call it the illuminati, the tri-lateral commision, the builderbergers, skulls and bones, that's all minutiae. here's the idea (and tell me if you disagree) it's that the RICH run the show, and average joe q. public who thinks his voice, and his vote, matter... is WRONG.
if you don't believe me look at our democratic candidate, John Kerry. was he the one who they thought was gonna be "the guy" ? no.
Howard dean was!!! remember him? they clowned him so hard, just for being amped on his campaign, something *I* actually admired... he had all the best ideas, he had support rolling in from grass roots style set-ups that were killin' it!!!
but the man with the most money won: John Kerry. (and HAH it's really his WIFE's money)
this post went all political mumbo jumbo wich is why i keep my under informed mouth shut on such topics.... MOST of the time...
i mean fuck G-dub and the rest of the bush crime family, fuck all republicans. they're assholes. but don't vote against bush by voting for john kerry. that's as ignorant as the people who blindly vote republican.
where's ross perot? maybe his freaky face and flappy ears can come fly in to the rescue.
that wasnt serious.... that last part....
corona doesn't buy itself. i work tomorrow, but it's barely even sweat off my backy bizzle.
i was gonna get the tecate 18 pack, but i have to drive whitey back home eventually, and im avoiding my first DUI. as in, im not ever gonna get one.
now we're watching Public Domain cuz it's what we strive to be like. yes, we are totally hard core bones brigade wannabes.
that's what i would get tatted. the powell "ripper" graphic.
i'm already in my board shorts.
and hopefully one of those chicas has some cigs on em, cuz i'm jonzin.
sont's you hate when you forget to clean your apartment for like four months?
not that i talk to these girls or anything.
they're prolly too young for me anyways.
so i take off on my board southbound on the bike path, wearing my sweatshirt, and my shorts, and my shoes. because why woudl i have time to waste on socks, underwear, or a t shirt?
im gona get a hat embroidered at the hat place that does that. but what should my hat say?
hows that fit? yah well fuck you then.
how about "king cool supreme"
see? everything sounds funny, or cool, for about two seconds. then it's "sigh" and then "yawn" and then i go "fuck, that isn't the perfect idea, then izzit?"
how about "dildo face" ?!?!?!?!
ugh, i derno...
before the night hits i'd like to take a dip in my hot tub. if it was sunnier i'd rock out the pool... but oh well. hot tubbing beats watching the fucking shitty ass, boring as fuck olympics.
i think dez is gonna come over and ask me to join her in demolishing an 18 pack of tecate. big tanky will be there too... they're coming equipped with baithing suits.
dez was unfairly layed off from her job recently, wich basically... sucks. but we have her back cuz they were only paying her a fragment of what she was worth, and that's fucked to begin with.
"some say that the pen
than the sword.
well i say
FUCK THEN PEN
cuz you can DIE...
by the SWORD..."
after i pooo
i look all ripped
like i have asix pack
holy shit i saw my dad last night!
me whitebag and b.hart, we were all in my truck bumping some Aceyalone
"imma b BOY, im dareal McCoy, im chocolate all over like an almond joy..."
so i even circled the block, cuz i wanted to get a look at his bimbo bitch. eh, i seen him do better, i guess he was slummin it last night. he never saw me, wich is just perfect.
then we went to shellbacks and realized after a pitcher of Siera Nevada, two shots of makers mark, and a shot of sauza... that manhattan beach is for lames only, and we booked it to redondo. redildo. whatever. it was awesome cuz b.hart was totally thinking that i must be joking about the fat girl club. i wasn't.
Old Tony's and Naja's are like the only bars in redond-dizzle that i like. i knew my boys were gonna get sick of old tony's fast so we spent most da time in Naja's... where the Black Sabbath was bumpin as we walked in. but who cares.
kenneth has a new url.
the weed strain right now is called sugar bear, and it's from b to the c.
anyways im done fwith work already today. the south central saturday is unbelievably mellow. i check on the signs (that NEVER fucked with in that area) and go to the car dealership, and make sure those signs are coolio too. they always are. and then welp, i go home, and twiddle my thumbs the rest of the day.
the whole process takes little over an hour.
i am debating on wether to just get SHITHOUSE drunk, or to get shithouse drunk and go skating.
cuz that always makes me type sloppy.
anyways. the twenty dolla pants from target look quite nice. it's all about avoiding pleated plants like the plauge that they are. flat fronts, baby...
ERRR-- hold the presses. phone.
ok that was whitey-whizzle-fo-shizzle and him and B hart are taking bong hits in whitey's mom's kitchen (she's outta town. bev would never tolerate that shit)
anyways, looks like that's the new plan. better than plan was gona be. solo mcfly riding the dolerian of death into the future.
now im just marty mcLoser hanging down at shelbacks with da ole boys.
more develpments on this currently-being-brokered deal as they unfold.
ask me anything and know what i'll fucking do, man? i'll pop out an answer, right or wrong, because i don't know how to say i don't know.
maybe i should learn, because there's so much i don't know.
most of the time i am correct with what i blurt out, because common sense goes a long way. you don't need to fall off a building to know it hurts.
and when i'm wrong, that's fine. Noon's gonna know the answer to everything. aka, shit happens.
i dont look back and see a bunch of mistakes. i look into my past and see a fuckload of lessons learned.
life's too short to make all your own mistakes. perhaps that's a hidden function that blogs can offer.
cuz im a huge mistake, mannnn...
but mistakes are important. like the time i got my hand slammed in a car door, or the time i stapled my my thumb, or the time that i saw Matt Radke nearly cut off his finger in woodshop class on the table saw. all of those were done on accident, and i learned valuable things from them all.
especially thankful to matt radke for being the guinee pig on THAT ONE.
no whats the worst part about getting kicked in the balls? i think it's the part where you feel like your testicles have been blown apart into a trillion tiny pieces and you feel them floating near your stomach. yah, that part for sure.
signmafia, in full regalia.
the ipod makes it very unpainful
whitey is an hour out of town, and has the simi valley job. a total cake walk. i believe he's headed here for the usual in town bong hits.
my gig is the now clockwork South Central job. it's turn key for us, wich is a luxury in teh sign business.
pero es puro, y apasionado, y tengo un amor para él.
mi nombre está ANTI, y no hablo francés.
su madre puede montarme como un caballo. no cuido.
buena vista social club is playing on my radio. i like them a lot.
no beleive qué se escribe sobre mí. a menos que esté sobre cómo maravilloso. entonces él es verdad.
no me tome seriamente. ¿no lo hago, por qué debo usted?
debo ahora ir pulimento mi poste.
the difference being that big tanky would club a baby seal just for the fur, cuz it's not about the fucking animals.
or some save the world movement.
girl just dont like meat. fuck it, *I* dont like caviar, i mean, people HAVE their personal preferences. it doesn't have to MEAN something.
so i asked her, "yah, is there a part of you deep down that beleives the cows deserve to die for our hamburgers?"
she replied, "well i wouldn't exactly say the DESERVE it, but it's just gonna happen..."
but then she went on to talk about how she IS morally opposed to MCDONALDS cows and fast food genitically engineered animals, and then i derno, i think she got distracted by her brown rice dinner preparations.
so i came into the computer room here, and decided to write it all down.
and yah, who isn't... i know that's what you're thinking...
but he played some tracks for us, and he's come a long way from that bullshit he used to dabble with.
i was imPRESSED.
it wasn't so bad seeing austin either... i mean ugh austin, he can be quite the head ache when he wants to be.
but he was chill, gave my a copy og the DVD he made, and we talked shit about how austin is such an asshole, that he once got all freaked out at a drive thru thinking that the cashier had not given him the change off his $20... even tho he DID get his change... austin was just stoned, and forgot he already got it
well austin is so pushy that he basically MADE the guy give him the change twice.... and didn't know it until he got home.
it was funny too when dave came over... he was actually on his bike outside my house waiting for me.
and he really came over just to copy my MP3's because dave is a freak like taht about shit like MP3's. takes it wayyy to serious. but whatevs, he prolly thinks i do the same with blogging.
anyways, i am NOT allowed at daves house, but me and sean just kinda followed him home on our skateboards, even tried to get in his elevator, heh...
he had to be like, "um ok dudes, this is the end of the line..."
that's coo tho. his girlfriend cindy thinks im satan, so i dont want to rock daves boat.
im glad that sean liked the viking too... because that's family. and really sean liked what he heard about the viking before he ever met him. he even ditched old school highschool homies he hadn't seen in years to hang out with my cousin, a guy whom he had never met because sean wanted to RAGE.
and all those suckers are like, "oh mannnn, you wanna go OUT out? out WHERE?!" and sean's from fucking Nebraska... hanging out on some asshole couch playing PS2 didn't seem like a party.
sean wants me to visit him in Nebraska and at first i told him, "not a chance in HELLLL, buddy." i said i would rather go someplace "cooler" like NYC, Mtl, BC, Vegas, Cabo, SF...
but fuck that, i wanna visit sean, perhaps drive out there with whitey or someone. i know whitey will be down.
you dont even see titties, or speak any english in there for that matter. but you definitely want to go back.
not to mention the seven piece mariachi band that was JAMMIN before the booty grinders for hire showed up, and they turned on the latin club jams CD or whatever it was.
Los Angeles never ceases to amaze me with it's ummm.... opportunity?
like full release accupuncture, heh...
so we were talking about how we never stole a bike before and then we came up on this guy who had his bike parked in the street, so my cousin asked if i was down for some prankster action...
i was. so was sean.
so we pulled up, i lean out the window enough to grab the bike seat, and the handle bars, and the guy almost got a hold of it before my cousin floored it and we took off with the bike and dropped a block away for him to fetch.
it was straight out of dazed and confused when they went nuts with that bowling ball.
and anbody that's ever said i wasn't an asshole was lying!
tonight the viking played host to our festivities, and we rocked that shit like tomorrow was judgement day.
universal city walk, sunset boulevard, north hollywood mexican's only bars.
i think mexican's are the greatest.
so yah, it was good times.
and the weird part about sean visiting here from nebraska was that because he is staying here on my couch, i have to hang out with all the people sean wants to visit, including three different people i lived with for random amounts of time, like the nader, guido, Lester Burnham, dave1... ect.
i even scored a new graffiti DVD outt the deal somehow...
this coming weekend we got enough work to get whtiey-whizzle on the scene blasting away his signs... and he doesn't even have to be a hell centroid. we scored him a LA gig.
also jenny petersen stopped by my house today to bring me an old t-shirt i had given her a long time ago. i had asked for it back, but it was like whutever. then she called me out of the clear blue, and said she found my kickass t shirt, and that she wanted to give it back to me.
"you better call the COPS when you see ANTI"
so today i woke up pleasantly, went to the skate shop with sean, hung out with guido, ate El Terasco, drank tecate, went hot tubbing, went bar hopping, got a dose of mexican border hopper bar atmosphere, ate at the hard rock cafe, and now am ready to crash out, i can hear sean snoring on my couch already... and i can barely wipe this shit eating grin off my face!!!!
damn, it feels good to be...
that's my dawg, right there. so i picked his ass up from LAX, no worries. haven't seen the EmEff in like TWO YEARS so it's dope that he's here.
we headed straight to IN-N-OUT, and then the nader called me to see/makesure we picked him up and headed to some random party that was fully stocked with enough hard alcolhol to get all of china drunk at once, but there was like 10 people there. weird.
so we boned out, bought beers at the 7-11 that used to be a circle K, and just came here to get crunked.
then we dropped off nader on our way to Del Taco, and sean crashed out on my couch.
this morning sean was already awake when i got back from work, so we drank a shit load more beer and went skating down to hermosa where there's this huge art fair going off, and food vendors and shit, so we said fuck it, and went to the beach.
north side of the pier.
that's right about when sean realized that the Los Angeles women put the Nebraskan women to shame. we were surrounded by stone cold foxes. AND you could totally tell they were undressing our board shorts with their eyes. hussies.
and so then we said fuck it, let's drink more beers, and bought subway on our way to fetch the brewskis at my pad
seans dad came to pick his ass up and spend quality time with him ect. i think they're gonna go drink coffee and shit like that.
now i got to head back to South Centrale LA, to meet my helper robert there, and un-install all the signs. should take us a cool 3 hours. no sweat.
then i derno... sean wants to rage, fo shigumms.
he seemed down for the mexican's only bar that me and the viking cruised out to, i'd just have to see if the viking is down.
but you never know with cats like sean... even though his skateboard and suitcase are here, i might never see him again... heh.
anyways... i'm out, i gotta head to work, and bust this shit.
-big pimp daddy anti
what kinda sexually repressed asshole is gonna hate on some tits?
it's breast feeding for chrissakes, and fact of life, and it's just a boob, i mean are boobs sposed to be some kinda giant secret? cuz it's not working,,,, we know about it....
are we becoming the taliban? has everyone lost their fucking minds?
and it's like, let's say that yes, you DO find it offensive... welp, you have a neck on the bottom of that thing you call a head, USE IT. look away u dumbass.
why do they have to paint it like seeing a titty is a filthy durrrrty durrrty thing.
that filthy nasty fleshy titty... it's EVIL.
i hate starbucks more than ever now.
that must be a bummer.
i woke up, got out of bed... put the boxers on my butt and then i fled.
didn't snap anybong hits to my head.
and my helper wasn't there at the time he said.
my helpers name is robert... not mahhamed.
i like my gatorade -- flavored red.
cuz that's the only flavor with enuff street cred.
my lungs feel callapsed AND exploded.
step to me, and get moded.
an old news paper is black, and white, and read.
this blog post is now dead.
....that you fags don't have any of this Doja
mmm mmm MMMM
it smells fruity.... like... lemony...
in north hollywood, i give up most of my pot to hook up my cousin, who was too busy to go chasing down weed-dealers tonight. but then the most fucked up thing happened...
i raced home, and stopped in torrance where there is a branch office of my bank and somehow, the weed i had leftover flopped out of my lap when i jumped out of my truck to go banking, because i got home and HAD NO IDEA WHERE IT WAZZZZZZZZZZZ
not to mention, thanks to Jason Jones and his scam artist ways, my bank wants to put burly holds on all my checks, so i snatched the check out of their hand, and was bitter.
and then i get home and lost my pot. only users lose drugs.
i immediately get on the phone, and start the ball rolling, getting the new weed on it's mother fucking way, and FAST
then it dawns on me, that i should at least go back and see if the weed is still there. and so i fucking fly up torrance boulevard to the bank, honking, and sweating...
i didn't care who stared at me as my tires chirped around every turn, and fucking a man... it was still there...
so i called up homie, and told him that we had weed to smoke while the new was on the way.
im living in
my own private re-dond-o.
right now i got a whole Zee to smoke straight to my dome. cept most of the nugs need some manicuring still.
hey remember when you were a kid, and you'd stick the crayons in the crayon sharpener that came built in on the box, so that you could turn them into little wax shanks, and intimidate the other kids in the cafeteria for their lunch money??
and bummed i didna bring my cammy cam cam so i could get a shot of me posing provocatively next to the Brittany Spears star.
earlier today my brewmaster friend came over, took apart my computer for really no reason at all, and then i made him hook me up some bud from his apartment building, and then dave and i discussed ways we could potentially communicate without his girlfriend knowing, who happens to think i am the antichrist, wich to me is really kinda bullshit because yah cindy has never seen me with the same chick twice, and yah i gawk at hotties pretty bad, SORRY for being a man, what was i saying?
i used vasoline to jerk off today. man what a mistale, that shit is a mess and a half. im too lazy to get that involved...
it's jerking off, not a finger painting experiment, for chrissakes
i have the no signwalker job this weekend. the "southcentral los ANGELES, found out they couldn't HANDLE US..." bring a switchblade, don't wear gang colors, ghetto bird infested, barrio, thugged out hood, mexican wrestler havin, crack smoke filled streets, oh yah, who's da man?
my helper is this homie named robert who says the reason he's so fast is cuz he's used to running from cops. he has a handle bar moustache, and basically looks like a real life little homie figurine.
im totally out of NyQuil. this is gonna be a long night.
driving is what happens in tha backround whilst the person holds up traffic playing with their camera, talking on their cell, or watching the in dash DVD...
if yer that pre occupied, stay home.
hot chicks are exempt and can do whatever they like...
but you kno wwho you are, im talking to YOU, hang up the fucking phone and drive, or just get the fuck off the 405!!!
the viking spent the night on my couch, and the brewmaster is on his way over... for bonghits i presume. i hope he knows it's b.y.o. up in here.
im gona see the director's cut of Donnie Darko at the chinese theater in hollywerid tonight... i haven't seen a movie there since indiana jones came out a million years ago.
MILHOUSE HAS MY FUCKING BACK.
you bettah axe sumbuddy
i called up homie and was all, "hey man, it's anti, whatchu got cookin?" because it's not cool to just ask outright, DO YOU HAVE MARIJUANA IN YOUR POSSESION YOU ARE WILLING TO SELL TO ME? because potheads are paranoid.
anyways, he replies that he's SO STONED because he just smoked up the last of his weed.
so there i am on the phone with this knucklehead re-incarnate of spicoli... patiently waiting for him to either tell me when he'll have more pot, or to buzz off and leave him alone.
but instead nothing is said, and i have to press on with the good battle for righteous pot, or die of irritation.
"well, dickface, when are you gonna re-up your supply?" i asked...
he tells me, "well i COULD get some right now, i guess, some people have been calling.... wanting some... say anti, how muchoo want to get, eh?"
"well fuck man, are you gonna get it or what? im spending a hundred bucks at least..."
so anyways, he never called back like he said he was going to, and after a few hours i called him, only to have him ask me, "dude, anti... since i can't drive on this suspended license, are you willing to drive me someplace to get it...? if it goes down like that..."
IF it goes down like WHAT??? so i guess he was trying to tell me, it's not ready.
this i never understood. it's not like i'm waiting for the shit to grow, or to dry out properly, or whatever. the pot is THERE SOMEWHERE and just needs to be divided into $100 worth, and poof im gone, im dusted, im history, sianara suckers... stick a fucking fork in me.
here i sit, without weed, WITH MONEY TO BUY WEED, and only my useless glob to distract me
there's more conveniant people to call. dealers that are more reliable, always at home, and always have plenty of herbalations. but, that's because their weed sucks.
it's really just high priced mexi, or what we call pretendica.
he said "tonight it will happen for SURRRRRRRE, i promise"
welp, i've heard THAT one before.
let's just say im not holding my breath.
back in the day my mom got one of those things in her hair somehow at hermosa beach's "good stuff" cafe, and noone helped her, they all freaked out and ran away, and she didn't know what the fuck was going on.
her friends sucked. she's not friends with them anymore... thankfully.
i didn't get any love from my neices when i was at my mom's house aerlier today. they all hid from me, waiting for me to find them and chase them. but they obviously dont know me very well... i was just relieved they figured out a game to play with me, where im not involved.
i hadn't been in my car in a a whole day. it always feels weird when i haven't been inside it for over 24 hours. like crawling back into your old skin. and when i started her up, the music was on full throttle, so my ears are still ringing. that damn ipod makes me mess with the car stereo volume in weird ways.
my sinus infection or whatever is making my head pound, and so obviously the only solution is to go swimming. big tanky wants me to steam my head in this big ass bowl she brought over... but i'd rather make pop corn, and eat the un popped corn kernal fragments
they define themselves as:
Moxie Nightclub / Club Curves is the world's first permanent nightclub created especially for thick, plus-sized, full-figured, voluptuous, CURVY women, and the men who can't resist them!
so i guess teh men who cant resist fat chicks are ghetto ass thugs, because every night that club is open at least 20 cop cars have to be called in to handle whatever drama they got goin on.
but then i wonder, what makes a fat girl club special...? is it the buffet? they heavy duty seats? the extra wide door ways?
id go check it out, but i think theyd eat me alive.
on a seperate note... check this out...
Get a college education
Save my money
Quit smoking cigarettes and pot
Lift weights and exercise
Learn a language other than pig-latin
Limit my daily masturbation sessions
Run my own successful business
STOP journaling mundane aspects of my life
Produce a left wing propaganda film that will help promote getting the bush administration out of office
Start a death metal band called 'no fetus can beat us' or 'humongous butt-fungus' (i'd be lead guitarist of coarse)
Smuggle bulk amounts of heroin across international borders
Become a world renowned professional tap dancer
My dirty dishes
Cook my own food
Pay my bills on time
Listen to one of my mom's 10 minute long answering machine messages ALL THE WAY THRU
STOP getting parking tickets
Wipe my own ass
Make $$$ off my writing
Spend time with my grandparents
Forgive my dad
Make photo essays
Inspire the people around me
Get revenge on Jason Jones, for pulling some kinda check scam on me that cost me $500
Understand the way women think
Dress my age (D.O.B. June 7, 1979)
Read more books
Prove anyone who didn't believe in me, was wrong
Own a dog or a cat
Or a plant
think of a funny ending to this list idea...
and no matter fucking what, it won't go away. i try everything from trying to yawn, chewing something, shit... i even shut my mouth and hold my nose and try and blow out my ears THAT way. but, all are total failures.
it makes me kinda deaf too.
but the best part will be when this shit passes, this illness whutever, and my ears will come back to me... they will un-pop and i will be able to hear the maintenance men work on shit directly outside my door at 6am.... im sure they miss my daily door opening/door slamming.
i know they miss me.
anyways. im sick i guess. all plugged up and stuffed up, and leaking snot all over the place. i wonder what got me sick this time... was it that rancid mayonaise i ate? maybe it's just bongitis.
the point is, i don't care.
i think im getting a minor head cold, or some shit, because i... well... there's toilet paper hanging from my nose, and honestly im totally bummed about it all.
i like my NyQuil shaken, not stirred.
how's that make you feel, anti? alkjdfaslkdjalkjalskj
i was allegedly INVITED to party with my dad at his member's only club in manhattan beach. but shockingly, i declined.
seems like not talking to him or seeing him for two years doesn't phase this asshole one bit.
get a clue, old man.
i guess he asked my cousin at one point... "does my son hate me?"
and the answer is, YES!!!!!!!!
YES I HAVE A DEEPSEEDED FUCKING HATRED FOR YOU, YOU FUCKING PATHETIC MINDLESS HUMAN TURD, YOU SCREWED ME OVER AND LEFT ME WITH BAD CREDIT AND NO FATHER, AND THE YEARS KEEP ON TICKING BY, AND THE REJECTION FROM MY OWN FATHER THAT I AM UNABLE TO FORGET IS A DAILY REMINDER/SLAP IN THE FACE MAKING ME HATE YOU MORE AND MORE AND MORE.
does that suffice? i know i tend to break off on a tangent at times, and miss getting my point across... oh well. who cares.
stupid fucking words.
i wish i there was delivery tacos, and ther was some hot chick who delivered them to my door... and perhaps she could bring some del scorcho sauce.
pizzahut can pizzafuckitself though, because they are taking to pizza-fucking-long.
im sure they're waiting outside with a spy camera, and hoping that i will light a cigarette soon. because the pizza man loves to knock on the door when i JUST lit one up. am i wrong?
ok fuckit im lighting one. a chesterfild light.
update: i lit the cig, the phone rang, scared the shit out of me, and i knocked the bong over, and the pizza was here, liek the magic light-a-cig trick that it is.
nuff said. soups on.
but no really, it was tight, and we had an excuse to be there, SIGNS.
we even went back to the dealership afterwards to show our client the pics we took of hot chicks. he appreciated it.
anyways, we cut the line (saving us an hour) and the shit was only five bucks, so we weren't super commited, and we kinda got bored of wandering around, and decided to head back to the bong. i mean, head back to the car.... but really whats the difference?
so now here i am, sitting in the perfect beachside climate, no AC needed. and i think imma take five, prolly in the poolio. i wanna dip MY BALLLLLZ INNIT.
then imma mai tai till i die.
fucking an infected hair root?
who cares. here's pics from today.
South Los Angeles.
i think i wanna change up my "look"
picture me in a fly suit! with some kickass shoes. and my hair cut nice and sharp.
but see, nothing's tackier than a cheap suit. and like, i derno if the discount store they advertise on the howard stern's show is making the grade, man.
and when would i wear the damn thing? not when im at work. not in my free time.
so that leaves me with weddings and funerals. and shit, im usually stoked i have a reason not to go.
but it's fun, and i used to have a awesome tailored suit. dressing up in it is like such a fucking process. the tie, the socks, the belt, the buttons the collar. and when it's done you hope you dont have to pee.
but man you feel unstoppable. and people instantly offer you respect.
prejudice of the good kind.
they have no idea what a totally fucked scumbag i really am! suckers.
i think the problem is that people need to smashitup. like...
my cousin and i rolled up on some old dude who was picketing back when they had the grocery store cashier strike that lasted months and months.
so anyways, this guy says to us, "ya know back in the day we wouldn't be carrying SIGNS and standing around... we'd be carrying BASEBALL BATS, and blowing shit up..."
my cousin and i agreed, "yah that's gettin it done."
ppl need to fuck shit up to get heard. these pithy movies are great at getting the ideas out there, and the message across. but ppl like the weatherman stood up, and threw a middle finger to the government as they blowed up shit when they felt the need to say FUCK YOU to america.
and they did it clean, man. they made sure that noone was in those buildings they blew up.
plus it's pretty cool that they broke timothy leary out of prison. i mean, the king of LSD!!! how tight.
it is my duty as somenoe who gets to see it ONE DAY before the rest of the suckers. because to truly be cool, is to see the hot shit newest and firstest. and pfff... suckers.... i'm doing both. so eat my dust, losers.
you are curious about what a signwalker is, eh? i'm glad you asked. my "readers" are bored sick with the topic. but i love to talk about it.
signwalkers technically are people we hire to hold a 10 foot tall sign we build, to promote a used car tent sale going on for the weekend, ON a busy street corner... for $8/hour.
that's the like official description.
but a more realistic answer is to say that signwalkers are ghetto ass people with no shame who will humiliate themself by standing in public holding a damn sign, just so they can score enough money to get their speed fix that night. most of them have no teeth, ID, credit, car, or money. but somehow they always have speed.
we hire homeless people, halfway house people, randoms off the sidewalk walking by, highschool losers, and of course our regular group of misfits from Buena Park, Ca who we got to know from this church down there that they all go to. churches are good places to find signwalkers. only freaks and weirdos signwalk.
i have signwlaked before when work was slow. whitey has signwalked for me when i couldn't find someone (and basically did it as a favor), my cousin jenny used to be a regular signwalker....
it's actually very easy money considering all you have to do is stand there. you can read a book, bump your walkman (or your ipod, but if yer signwalking... you can't afford an ipod), some of the kids we get play gameboy, i think i saw whitey doing yoga while he did it.
i can spot a potential signwalker a mile away. it's how they dress, what they're doing, where they are.
anyone at a bus stop for example has time on thier side.
avoid asking people on bikes if they "know anyone looking for work?" because if they wanna work, then you gotta figure out that the fuck to do with their bike.
the best part about signwalkers, is their replacability. if one is fucking off, taking too long of a break, or just not taking their can of ackrite that day... FIRED!!!!!!
i thought it would bum me out to fire someone. and make me feel like a dick.
well it DID make me feel like a dick, but i loved every second of it.
now im just WAITING to fire someone. test me.
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