well when i plan to wake up with enough time to shower, write a blog post, get breakfast, AND wax the dolphin. i see myself all prepared, organized, clean, fed, and the pipes cleared out, it seems like it's something i could achieve.
but the gods aren't crazy, they just like to laugh. ask leif, he'll tell you the proof the gods like to laugh is the same reason farts smell.... "they dont HAVE to smell..." welp, anyways...
the gods invented snooze buttons on alarm clocks. and they're whooping it up on Mount Olympus at my expense.
see, when it's at the butt crack of dawn, and i have the option to finally wake up or hit a magical button that makes me sleep for 10 more minutes... waking up always loses that contest.
it's about as fair as asking rush limbaugh to choose between Oxycotin and Tylenol. Or asking artie lange to choose between JackDaniels and coke or an ice water. Or perhaps asking a child if they'd prefer eating a chocolate bar or raking the leaves out of the lawn.
one choice is always 20 million times more appealing. and so i want for christmass an alarm clock with NO SNOOZE button. because i am bad at self control when i am half awake.
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